Saturday, March 12, 2011

Rendition: 1 yard stare

1 yard stare:

Similar to the 1,000 yard stare that veterans acquire, the 1 yard stare is a trait that people that work in cubicles or open workspaces pick up as they will avoid noticing anything that is not on their computer monitor.
Dude, I just walked by Lindsay with a plate of donuts and she completely ignored me.

Doesn't surprise me. She is working on closing the accounts receivable for this quarter and has a bad case of the 1 yard stare. 

Rendition: Brain Spin

Brain Spin:

The inability to sleep because of your mind fixating on a thought.
The Lost finale gave me brainspin and I wasn't able to sleep all night. 

Rendition: STFU


1) Acronym used for the phrase "shut the fuck up" for efficiency reasons.
Please stfu because I am trying to read. 

Rendition: Words with friends with benefits

 Words with friends with benefits:

When in the course of playing a member of the opposite sex in words with friends. You or they play provocative words as if to drop hints.

Boy played sex for 13 points
Girl played blow for 16 points
Boy played tit for 8 points

Rendition: productive procrastination

productive procrastination:

n. Doing stuff to keep busy while avoiding what really needs doing. When all is said and done, your room is clean, your laundry is folded -- but you haven't started your English paper.
I should really do my program. But instead, I think it's time for some productive procrastination... Where's the mop?? 
 FINALLY! Ive been crazy swamped all week with Braz3n promotional items and
the day job ive had no time to upload any of these. so here you go enjoy.


Just got these in.
QR on the back that leads to the home page.

And a Co-Branded shirt with FMX East and Loco X.
Very pleased with all these items..

Monday, March 7, 2011

Rendition: Lent trap

Lent Trap:

/lɛnt træp/ noun

In couples where one party is Catholic and the other is not, the unwilling subjection of the non-Catholic to the 40-day ritual of penitence known as Lent.
1. We were going to have dinner at this great new steak place on Friday night, but Joe's got me stuck in a Lent Trap.

2. My wife Jane decided to give up sex for Lent. Worst. Lent Trap. Ever. 

Rendition: fappable


Something that is sexually desirable, or deemed high enough quality that it can be used for masturbation purposes.
Man, that picture is really fappable. 

Rendition: microwave mentality

microwave mentality:

Having the attitude that if something can't be done in 5 minutes or less, it's not worth doing.
Someone's mom: "You know, I just hate how our son never gets his chores done."

Someone's dad: "Yeah it's his microwave mentality. He gets it from you." 
Quickie to keep with the theme...rite under 5 minutes.

Saturday, March 5, 2011

Rendition: dutch oven

dutch oven:

The act of trapping a person under bed covers after releasing vile ass fumes

Dave vomited on the sheets when his wife gave him a white castle dutch oven. 

Rendition: pixel counting

pixel counting:

The act of staring at one's screen to avoid bullshit at work.
Yea I missed the big catastrophe at work today as I was too busy pixel counting. 


Friday, March 4, 2011

FMX East Circus poster, printed and ready!.

Rendition: Perfectionist Paralysis

Perfectionist Paralysis:

The inability to start on a project, assignment, essay or any creative task due to the fear of not getting it perfectly right.

Joe: You haven't started writing your paper yet?
Bob: Nope
Joe: Isn't it due tomorrow?
Bob: Yep.
Joe: I thought you went to the library and did your research, made your notes and wrote your outline.
Bob: I've got perfectionist paralysis. 

Rendition: superstistics


The use of prior evidence of one event to predict the outcome of another unrelated event - from the words superstitious and statistics.

1. Toss a coin and get heads 100 times in a row and use superstistics to conclude that the next toss is more likely to be tails than heads.

2. A well known superstistics conclusion: "The outcome of Washington Redskins home football games has correctly predicted the winner of every U.S. presidential election since 1936." (snopes) 

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Rendition:Russian Toilette

Russian Toilette:

After sitting on the toilet to poop, you notice that there is less than one-quarter of a roll of toilet paper, and no spare in the bathroom. You decide to poop anyway, gambling on the fact you will have enough toilet paper to have a satifying wipe.

Husband: "Honey, I just played Russian Toilette, and lost"
Wife: "Sucks to be you. Try not to bite your fingernails" 
Yes its live traced...Doing these on the quick and dirty....meeh

Rendition: retard in aluminum foil

 retard in aluminum foil:

What a lady's knight in shining armor becomes when she really gets to know him.

I thought he was my knight in shining armor. Turns out, he was just a retard in aluminum foil! 

Rendition: Laborhood

Labor Hood:

The neighborhood in which you work, if different from the neighborhood in which you live.

Nah, I don't wanna hang out in SoHo tonight. I try to avoid my laborhood on weekends.